Goodbye

Me: Call me if you have any questions!

Client: I will. And thanks for your help!

Me: Sure thing.

Client: Take care!

Me: You too!

Client: Talk to you later!

Me: Okay!

Client: Bye!

Me: Bye!

Click.

Why is it that getting off the phone can take five attempts? It’s so rare that the spoken word “Goodbye” is immediately followed by a click of the receiver. Even though I really like most of my clients, more often than not, this go around is reminiscent of an end to a tortuous first date. He talks too loud, there's spinach in his teeth and the chemistry is non-existent. You have to find a way to depart without just bolting for the door and you do it by tossing around polite varieties of goodbye.

When it comes to my personal phone calls, the goodbye usually has a “love you” tossed into the mix. It is more out of habit than sincere emotion. Sometimes I do really love the person and sometimes I have little tolerance for the friend at hand. I just don’t bother to exercise “love you” discrimination.

The problem arises when I use those words where they are not and never would be appropriate. I was in the early stages of dating some guy when I said “love you, bye” at the end of the chat. I didn’t even realize I said it until I took the ten seconds of complete and utter silence from his end to backtrack. As soon as I realized my faux pas, I scrambled together a sorry-about-that and hung up. The relationship never panned out and in the back of my mind, I have a sneaky suspicion it was linked to my love slip.

Beyond the “love you” wording, I never get off the phone any quicker with friends and family.

Me: Gotta run!

Friend: Okay, Ms. Important. Catch you later!

Me: You wish!

Friend: No, you wish!

Me: Whatever! I’m outtie!

Friend: Ciao!

Me: Bye!

Friend: Bye!

Click.

Saying goodbye is so darn draining. It isn’t any wonder there are so many songs, mostly country western, written about it. You should start to pay attention to it. Seriously. There are at least 27 minutes I lose each and every day simply saying goodbye on the phone. It is amusing, curious and concerning. Over the period of a lifetime, I'm shorting myself a good week or so and for absolutely no good reason.

And with that thought of the day, I bid you adieu!