The Grinch Who Shit on Christmas

My office is small. As in, a total of four people are employed there on a regular basis: me, the boss, Jane and Dave. When my dad is in town, the headcount grows to a whopping five.

In previous years, with my father at the helm, a holiday luncheon of some sort occurred. He'd email everyone and suggest a few dates. Sometimes we headed out to a local restaurant. Mostly we got takeout and collected at the conference table in my dad's office. And we did this for no other reason than because my father is handicapped and maneuvering him anywhere involves effort.

Last week, I spoke with Jane and Dave about going to a fun Mexican joint up the road for a last hoorah before year's end. Jane had jury duty on Monday and Dave was taking off Friday. Since I'll be gone next week to help my dad celebrate the big seven-oh, we settled on Wednesday. Well, we settled on Wednesday with the start time being determined by my return from a client meeting.

"Should we invite the boss?" I quietly asked.

We all looked at each other, a general sense of panic blanketing our faces. Finally, Jane piped up. She invited the boss over to where we were standing, shared our idea and expressed a desire for him to join us in the festivities.

For the next five minutes, we all stood there listening to him ramble on about commitments here and obligations there. He wanted to maybe do Tuesday, though Wednesday would be easier, if only we didn't eat too late because he had plans in the evening.

"Okay," I started when he was finally done. "We'll go with Wednesday and I'll let you know when I'm done with my client."

Tuesday afternoon, I finally got word about where I need to be when Wednesday morning. I had to do two presentations, both on the other side of town. But the first one was slated for ten, meaning I should have been able to get back to the office by one o'clock at the latest. I told my coworkers who were ecstatic. Then, when the boss returned I let him know too.

"Yes, about that. Since Dave is taking off Friday and now Jane taking off Thursday and Friday, I've decided I'd rather everyone just work. We can do a holiday lunch sometime in January."

I just nodded. I looked on in disbelief and nodded in agreement.

A few hours later, the boss ran out to do something. I saw his absence as the perfect opportunity to relay the news to Dave, the only coworker who was remaining.

"Well, I do have work I could do," he said with a partial shrug.

"You're kidding me, right? It's like our office is a New Yorker cartoon. Picture it: the Grinch in a suit, leaning over a desk and announcing, 'I'm canceling Christmas this year. Your allotted vacation days are just eating too much into my profit.'"

"No, you're right. It's a total Grinch move."

Today, on my way back from my client, I texted Jane, the coworker who had yet to get the news that Christmas was cancelled. I informed her the office lunch was off, but I still needed to eat. So she met me at Green Soul, this fantastic healthy soul food spot in the city. Together, over organic greens and agave watermelon cream sodas, we celebrated the close to yet another year. It was a damn fine meal. And without question, better than if things had gone as planned.