Friday, March 02, 2012

No Place Like Home

For the first time in my life, I don't have a place to call home. There is no bed upon which to collapse. There is no glass into which I can poor some much needed wine. A hollow echo exaggerates every sound, my soft cough booming off the walls. And it's a weird thing to realize.

After spending two straight weeks traveling for work, I finally made my way back to Philadelphia. One bus, two flights and one train later, I curled my fingers around the handle of my suitcase and walked up the driveway leading to my condo complex. A misty rain coated my face. The rubber grip of my luggage tugged against my palm. As I fumbled for my keys, I couldn't help but feel like a stranger in my own home.

My condo lacks furniture but there are still plenty of tasks to tend to. Extra paint cans need to be moved to the storage unit in the basement. Art too big to fit in my car needs to be relocated to my parents' house. Piles of paper are strewn across the living room floor, most of which I'm ready to just toss. After all, the most important items - my passport, Gretel's spare key, and receipts - have already been stashed in a pumpkin-orange, Tod's shoebox.

Tomorrow morning, I will run up the street to get my hair colored one last time. I will figure out what to do with my mountain bike and golf clubs. At some point, I will back into a corner, look around my condo and feel a sense of emptiness. Then, Sunday, I will pack up my car and hit the road. My goal is to make it to Atlanta in one day.

"The kids keep asking if you're moving in this weekend," Leslie said when I spoke with her the other day.

I don't have a home of my own in Atlanta either. Though I put money down on an apartment, I am now thinking I might be better off waiting for a larger unit. In the meantime, I will stay with Leslie. And that was always my plan. But, though I comfortably eat food from her fridge and pee with the bathroom door open so we don't have to stop talking, her house still doesn't feel like home.

The next few weeks will continue to be defined by transition. Though I'm a month into my new job, my team doesn't formally launch until early April. There is still more training to complete, training that will include another week in Chicago and a few days in Miami. We don't even have promotional paperwork to distribute because the current set is still being reviewed by legal. Everything in my life right now is in flux. It's exciting and unsettling all at the same time. And all I want to do is curl up on a sofa, tuck my legs under a warm blanket and enjoy the comforts of home.

10 comments:

Breeza said...

I totally, completely understand. But it will happen soon. Enjoy your last few days at "home" and the exciting new adventure ahead!

off2fish said...

Whenever you feel a little down, waive your middle finger high and triumphantly salute your old boss! Yee haw, life is good.

Howie said...

enjoy this moment. you have worked hard for it and besides, leslie probably has a hair person for you to go to.

Sarah said...

You are going to do GREAT.

Ken Campbell said...

I don't even know you... don't even recall how I first stumbled on your site. But I love your writing and your vibe and I wish you all the best as you start this new part of your life.
Best wishes!

Michael Manning said...

I would agree with Breeza!

kodiakgriff said...

Atlanta? Truly? You are gonna love it PJ. If I ever had to move back east Hotlanta is top on my list. I try to spend time in Marietta as often as I can, visiting my baby girl and her family.
Anyways, good luck and I hope to read uyou agian soon!
Peace

Snakebite said...

So, you're job is based in Chicago but you're (going to be) living in Atlanta? Oh, or, I see. Hmm.

Colby Moore said...

I totally understand what you are going through. Starting a new job in a different city is a big transition. But don't worry, I am sure things will get better in the next few weeks. In the meantime, while you are still weighing your housing options, remember to take good care of yourself. Eat healthy and get as much rest as you can. Stay positive!

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